Life is a Lie We Shall Conquer
Jackie is a hitman. He's also in the mafia. All his buddies are in the mafia, also, and speak in that thick Italian-American accent that the Godfather seemed to popularize. They're about as threatening as a cliche can be, and sometimes even a little comical. Jackie's long, flowing hair makes him look more like a goth chick than a trained hitman, and his wacky one-liner's during the loading screens will be sure that you have nothing but utter contempt for him and his personality. Oh, don't worry though, he's just the main fucking character. Christ almighty, after Starbreeze studios made Escape from Butcher Bay with Vin Diesel's unlikable Riddick character, it's almost like someone said, "hey, we're on a roll!" and vowed to make Jackie as much as a whinging unlikable little bitch as possible.
On the other side of this coin is The Darkness, who is voiced by Mike Patton, and is possibly the coolest freaking supernatural entity ever to grace a videogame. His voice drizzles with malicious intent and despise, the vocal tones reaching into eerie treble and bone-chilling bass. Honestly, I don't think I can do justice in words how incredible Mike Patton's performance is inThe Darkess. Every line of dialog he has is pure gold, the characterization is perfect, and it's probably the best villain in a game... well, ever. Yes, even better than GLaDOS. Yes, even better than Arkham Asylum's Joker. Patton's Darkness is just orgasmic, and that's not hyperbole, it's the goddamn truth. Patton won a lot of awards for his role as the titular Darkness, and he deserved every one of them and more.
