Friday, January 4, 2013

TWENTY THIRTEEN FOR ANDEH PLEHS GEHMZ


Greetings, sirs and madams and various and others! I've decided I'm gonna get back into this whole "blogging" thing. As you've probably completely not noticed, I haven't been posting many reviews, or videos, or much of any content, really. And that's probably really sad for the at least one of you who actually care! (I have no solid numbers on if anyone actually reads this crap. I have pageviews, but you don't actually have to do any reading for that to count. So for all I know you lot just click on the links all over the website then close your browser down without even reading a single word. Hell, for all I know none of you can read a lick of English and just admire the layout of foreign shapes and letters arranged in a pattern, unaware of either the content or the intention behind them, or, say, whether or not I'm even forming sentences and words and not just unknowingly slapping letters down onto Blogspot like yogurt splattered against the inside of a microwave like that one time when I microwaved yogurt for the purposes of this joke.)

Anyway, the point is, I want to actually schedule content for this place. It's a New Year, I want to get experience writing stuff done, so what better way to fulfill such a wish than by actually maintaining this little corner of the internet that is my home away from Steam? ...well, actually doing some proper fiction writing, for one... or trying to get a job for a local newspaper in some kind of rudimentary journalistic position, two... oh wait. I'm sorry. I answered my own rhetorical question. Ahem.

But the point is that I have severely neglected this place - which is some sort of heinous crime somewhere in the world, probably - and I am going to stop doing that neglect thing. Starting off with a schedule. And, in the interests of a) remaining transparent, and b) wasting time by putting up a mere shred of content, I shall tell all of you reading this right now what that schedule is. It's not a very complicated schedule, but it is a schedule nontheless and I shall do my best to stick to it! So, without further adieu, here's a bunch of words I typed that make up the backbone of a severely underwhelming plan.


EVERY MONDAY
On Mondays I will write words about whatever. It might be part of a "series" of articles, like that Let's Play I attempted to do but didn't finish because the game I tried was bad. It might be a link to one of my Youtube efforts, with a bit of a description about what it is and how I did it and other behind-the-scenes bullocks. It might just be an opinion piece about a videogame-related current event. It might be bullshit like what I'm spewing now! ...oh, who am I kidding. It will be spewed-out bullshit like what I'm... now... what... do... and... ...so on, and so forth. Regardless: you will take it and you will enjoy it. Ya lil' rascals.


EVERY WEDNESDAY
On each and every individual Wends Day there's gonna be a review! Of a videogame! I have little .pngs of stars arranged from one to five to indicate overall quality! I have a template for the top of the reviews so I can copy and paste it for a uniformity to the look of the reviews! I'm playing games all the time, so I'll probably find something I can talk about and pretend like I'm judging it for a few paragraphs. They might not be recent games, they might just be retro games I've been balls-deep in, they might be recent releases like Max Payne 3 and Bionic Command Rearmed 2! They will be reviews of games, though! Every Wednesday! And that, I can assure you, is not a guarantee!


EVERY FRIDAY
And finally. Every Friday I will go back over the week that is past, and look at, like, Steam hours played and my Xbox LIVE history and use my brain, and talk about the stuff I've played and done that week! I'm gonna call it... like... Save State! Or... Checkpoint! Or... Andy Talks About His Week F'r A Bit Now So Sit Down 'n Read It Ya Scamps! Really, this is just because I play many games that I don't get around to actually finishing, which is a shame, because I can't half-heartedly review them and still maintain what little integrity I have left. But I still wanna talk a bit about them! So I'll just do that! ...plus, it'll be neat to collate my thoughts about games in a Blog-type fashion. Turns out my professional reviewers keep notes about what they've played and their opinions while playing them? ...so when they're done they have quick reference to how they were feeling at certain times without having to second guess their own opinion! ...that sounds like a lot of work, but definitely sounds helpful! So this is my version of that. A lazy excuse to post more words disguised as content.


...that's it. That's the schedule. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, there's some kind of stuff posted. Go write that down in the RSS feed reader that is your stringy, fleshy human brain and get back to me next week, y'hear!

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